I’M BACK!

Why, hello people! I’ve not been here in a while. What? I haven’t? No. I’ve been elsewhere! *GASP*

So here is a list of things that didn’t happen while I was away:

  • I did not become the King of Morocco. Why not? Because I don’t think I could find it on a map. I know it’s somewhere North-Africa-ish. 
  • I did not ride a unicycle around the country. I can’t ride a unicycle.
  • I did not watch any Quentin Tarantino movies.
  • I did not become a hippie.
  • I did not discover any Gods I didn’t already know about.

All in all, I didn’t really do much.

Although I did make these:

Kapow! Bam! Zap! Ping! Yup.

Kapow! Bam! Zap! Ping! Yup.

I also began the Great Photo Print Quality Experiment. Basically, I got a whole lot of the same photo printed at various suppliers of photo prints. Four different printing options. These are the ones you’re likely to come across when you get your happy snaps printed. So far, Fujifilm is in the lead, followed closely by Kodak (ordered online through Officeworks), then Kodak (instore at Officeworks, because it’s different) and trailed quite a long way by HP (printed instore at Kmart. If you order them online through HP Snapfish, they outsource to Fujifilm).

These ones got soaked overnight in tubs of water.

And I’ve been Arting. That’s totally a verb. Shut up!

This is the start of something new. Gonna make a big one with maybe not a nursery rhyme background.

This is the start of something new. Gonna make a big one with maybe not a nursery rhyme background.

 

Hark! A wallaby!

Hey there, everyone! How’s it going? I’m writing this from a train. Yes. A Train! I’m on my way to Sydney for the weekend. So, what’ve I been up to? Well, a lot. A lot that isn’t in any way fascinating. I mean, yeah, sure, I moved house, and that’s exciting and all, but it’s not really that interesting. I have discovered that I know how to cook. That was a surprise. Seriously. I’ve never been much of a cook (I JUST SAW A WALLABY BESIDE THE TRACK! That touch-typing course I did a couple of years ago just totally paid off!) because that’s something everyone else is good at. Everytime I cooked when I was at home, there’d be someone standing there telling me that I should be doing it another way. So I avoided cooking as much as possible because I thought I must be rubbish at it to warrant so much correction. Turns out that I’m not clueless at all. (WYEE STATION HAS GARDENS AND A LAWN ON THE PLATFORM! IT’S AMAZEBALLS!)

So, at my new house, there’s a cat called Smudge. She’s not as cute as Charlie, but she’s still hilarious. She’s really small, like she’s a teenaged cat whose metabolism hasn’t slowed down enough for her to get fat yet. And she’s aggressively affectionate. She meows at you until you pat her and then she sits there drooling on you and purring so loudly that it actually sounds like she’s growling. She also seems to think that the hallway between the kitchen and the lounge room is made of lava. I’ve never seen her walk through that hallway, she just runs as though there are zombies chasing her for her brains and she forgot to pack a chainsaw.

In other news, I’ve been doing yoga. It’s really awesome. I highly recommend  it to everyone. I even like the meditation part of it, though I kinda get distracted by nearly everything after about 30 seconds. And people who breathe too loudly really piss me off. I mean, if you can’t breathe below 40,000 decibels, then you should probably see a doctor. And people who hog all the space in the room really annoy me too, especially if they’re not actually overweight, just inconsiderate. BUT, the rest of it is brilliant. You get a full workout with practice in breath control (awesome for us asthmatics) and stretchiness and then you go home feeling taller and better and just generally pretty awesome. And before you start worrying; I’m not going to give up Maccas for a vegan diet. It’s just not going to happen.

That’s pretty much all I’ve got currently. Stay safe, people.

xoxo

New Home!

Happy Friday! How are you?

This week, I have been busy. Doing what? Moving house. I’m finally moving out of home. It’s only taken me FOREVER! But I found a place. A cute little place. With a huge backyard that used to be a tennis court. Really, it’s more like a backyard with a shack than a house with a backyard.

Here are some photos.

Look at it! It's so tiny! And that's one of my new housemates.

Look at it! It’s so tiny! And that’s one of my new housemates.

Look how big the yard is! I took this photo from the back fence. It's not even a fisheye lens. It's a paddock! A field! A meadow! A football field!

Look how big the yard is! I took this photo from the back fence. I didn’t even use a fisheye lens. It’s a paddock! A field! A meadow! A football field!

Look how massive the kitchen is. I suspect it should have a table in it to use as extra bench space (and somewhere to eat), but I don't own a table.

Look how massive the kitchen is. I suspect it should have a table in it to use as extra bench space (and somewhere to eat), but I don’t own a table.

Time to keep packing.

xoxo

P.S. My new home has no internet! It’s like the middle ages! Thank goodness for mobile AP!

Chocolate is important. I don’t care what they say.

Why, hello! Happy New Year! I know it’s late, but I got there in the end. So, things that have happened that you might not know about yet. I bought a Canon 1100D. I want a 60D, but this was on special. I got an 1100D with a 18-55mm lens for $358.20. I figured it wasn’t a bad deal; I get a Canon DSLR, and I can still afford the important things, like chocolate, and other foods, I suppose.

My red mini rose. It's so pretty.

My red mini rose. It’s so pretty.

In other news, I may have found a place to move into. It’s a tiny, tiny place. With cupboards instead of rooms. And a football field for a backyard. With any luck the real estate will approve me. I’ve come to a realisation that I own too many things though. I can’t take my books with me. I have a kindle, so it’s not the end of the world if I can’t have hundreds of books around the place. But I’ll miss them.

Look at my books. This is not all of them. Also, that's my trophy from my friend SLG.

Look at my books. This is not all of them. Also, that’s my trophy from my friend SLG.

I recently borrowed my sister’s car for a week (when she goes on holiday, she lends it to me sometimes). Anyone who reads this blog, follows my facebook/tumblr/twitter/instagram, or knows me IRL will know that I don’t own a car. Why? Because they’re damned expensive. I have known this for years. The thing I discovered about cars recently though, is that having one makes me want to spend more money, and makes me more disorganised as well. I found that I was wanting to go shopping because it’s so easy to get the shops. And oh, look how much extra I can carry with a car. And maybe I should join a gym, because it’s so easy to just drop in on my way home from work. That last one filled me with so much self-loathing that I nearly stopped the car in the middle of the road and walked home. I have no problem with people joining gyms, if it works for them. I hate the idea of gyms though. The air-conditioning and the televisions on the treadmills and the steroid types. And I’ve never been able to figure out the people who drive a 10km round-trip to get on a treadmill and walk 10km. That just makes no sense to me. Having a car means that if you forget a vital dinner ingredient for dinner, you can just go back to the shops and buy it. You don’t need a shopping list, or a plan, or anything. I am grateful for the loan of the car though. It does make it easier to buy the things you need that you wouldn’t normally take on the bus, like pillows and suitcases and stuff. At the end of the loan, I realised that having a car makes life more convenient, but no easier.

Stay safe this week. Stay awesome.

xoxo

A Feline Kamikaze. Oh, and Christmas – Abridged.

Hello, my little punk muffins! And how were your respective Christmases? I hope you all had a happy, or at least drunk, time. Our Christmas is always brilliant. It just is. It was also Boyfriend’s birthday on Christmas Day. He gets a bit upset that he has to share his birthday with Jesus, so we had a birthday lunch for Boyfriend (lasagne and chocolate cake, though not all at once on the same plate, as amusing as that would be), then we had Christmas at dinnertime. Oh, and Dad took my sister’s dog for a walk and got randomly attacked by a vicious cat. Mum was bandaging his feet and I was standing there laughing. Dad didn’t find it as funny as I did, but what kind of cat just leaps out of a hedge to attack a man with a dog? Feline Kamikaze, ftw.

Now that Christmas is over, you know what time of year it is. National Returns Week! You thought I was going to start talking about the New Year, didn’t you? Well, you were wrong! Muhahahahahaaaaa. National Returns Week is the week when everyone brings back the presents they bought in the week before Christmas and the stores try to resell as much of the returned stock as they can by having massive sales. Retail is a funny sort of business. In the weeks before and after Christmas, major retailers turn into a kind of toy library. People come in and spend loads of money on loads of toys, and then they bring them back a week later. Strange world we live in, us.

It is important to mention New Year though. I’m not going to come up with some ridiculous list of resolutions that I’m going to follow to the letter because, let’s face it, how many people actually stick to their resolutions anyway? And why do you need a New Year to start or stop doing something that you should probably start or stop doing anyway? My two cents.

In other news, I’ve been reading Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series for nearly a year now. I’m currently reading book 13. For those of you who have never read them, they’re long. And books 4-10 are a little boring. I’m still reading though. I couldn’t not. I NEED to know what happens to the characters. That’s the problem with these books. You may not like how long it takes for the plot to actually happen (don’t worry, it kicks back into gear in book 11), but you get attached to the characters, so you keep reading. My biggest fear at the moment is that I’ll finish book 13 before book 14 is released. Either that or I’ll kill myself with exhaustion due to reading far too late into the night. MUST PACE SELF. The good news is that the 14th book is due to be released on the 8th of January 2013, so I won’t have to wait too long. After I finish these books, I’m thinking about reading some Terry Pratchett. Maybe.

Xoxo

P.S. Sorry for the lack of photos, but I haven’t edited any of them yet, and editing is necessary with a Sony DSLR. I miss film.

Christmas is nearly here.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! And you know what that means; no time for anything remotely Christmassy. Why? Because I work in retail. I’ll be that person wrapping presents on Christmas day in the seconds before everyone wakes up. No time for cooking or cleaning. I have to go to work and sell cheap stuff made in China to the belligerent parents of spoilt and screaming children. Merry Christmas!

Look! It's a Christmas Tree. Ours, to be precise. I wrapped the lights around it and left the rest of the decorating to someone else. I like the shadows on the walls.

Look! It’s a Christmas Tree. Ours, to be precise. I wrapped the lights around it and left the rest of the decorating to someone else. I like the shadows on the walls.

Have a safe week, y’all!

xoxo

My Bunny’s Mice.

This week has been less than exciting. I’ve had a headache for a bit over a week, which in itself was fine. I make tough cookies look like dainty little cupcakes. It was fine right up until the point it turned into a migraine with all its best friends, like nausea and photosensitivity and pain everywhere.

I found a new doctor. I needed to get a certificate to say that I’m not putting it on. Doctors are expensive. I mean, I got a fair amount back from medicare, but I had to go to the chemist and get myself some magic anti-migraine tablets that stop migraines from taking hold, and some asthma meds, and I had to catch taxis to and from the surgery. It’s all because I couldn’t get in to see my old doctor. That seems to be the way of it these days. I rang and asked for an appointment and was told they could squeeze me into a short consultation in two weeks. Here’s a bit of a newsflash: I NEED A DOCTOR NOW, NOT IN TWO WEEKS! Can you imagine if I called and said I have chest pains? “Sorry, madam, but the doctor isn’t available for quite some time. Perhaps if you haven’t died from a heart attack in the next month we might be able to arrange for the doctor to see you then.” I wonder how many people die because they can’t get an appointment for two weeks. (Minor side point: I don’t have chest pains. If you do have chest pains, you should probably skip the two week wait for the doctor and go straight to hospital.)

In other news, that bunny of mine, Charlie, has got himself some pet field mice. I kid you not. I noticed them a couple of months ago, burrowing under his hutch and stealing his food and the like. I moved his hutch recently, leaving behind the mouse house, and I noticed Charlie acting oddly. Charlie doesn’t mind cats; he either ignores them or tries to make friends with them or he chases them if they bat his face. Anyway, in the first couple of days after I moved the hutch, I saw Charlie ignoring the local cats when they were looking at him, but as soon as they went near the mouse house, he went psycho. He was thumping the ground, growling (yes, bunnies growl) and generally looking distressed and angry. After about a week, the crazy protective behaviour stopped and I thought that either the mice have moved on or they’ve all been killed by the murderous cats. Then, the other day I heard squeaking from the upstairs of Charlie’s Mansion-Hutch. And I knew then that Charlie had let the mice move in. Seriously, my bunny is a punk. If he didn’t like the mice, they wouldn’t be there. I’ve been on the receiving end of his teeth and feet so trust me when I say that he’s a tough nut and can take care of himself (he chases cats). My pet has pets.

Charlie, why do you have pet mice? You are a pet! Why do you need pets?

Charlie, why do you have pet mice? You are a pet! Why do you need pets?

Now, I know you probably already know this, but tea is awesome. I’d like to take this opportunity to shout out to tea and its amazing ability to make a person’s life suck less. Have you ever been having a terrible week and then you sit down with a book and a cup of tea and suddenly the whole world can get jacked, because you’ve spontaneously become awesome? That happens to me frequently, especially when I’m drinking tea. Or it could be because I’m a rockstar. Either way, tea is brilliant!

When you've had a headache for a week and a half, and a migraine for two days, it probably means it's tea time.

When you’ve had a headache for a week and a half, and a migraine for two days, it probably means it’s tea time.

Peace out, y’all!

xoxo

Because who doesn’t want a post-apocalyptic family portrait?

Oh, my wonderful readers! Yes, you… Right there… Yep, yeh, no. Nup, back that way… Yeah. This week has been on and off hectic. You know those weeks where you get an extra day off work and then they call you to come in and you tell them you’re busy because, let’s face it, you’re busy watching TV and playing video games? Well, that’s been my week.

Remember a while back when I ordered some Christmas cards and I wasn’t sure if they’d turn out ok? Well, they arrived, and they’re really cool, actually. Sometimes I just amaze myself with how amazing I can be.

We wish you an emo Christmas, we wish you an emo Christmas, we wish you an emo Christmas, and a hipster new year!

We wish you an emo Christmas, we wish you an emo Christmas, we wish you an emo Christmas, and a hipster new year!

Last weekend was the weekend of the family portrait photoshoot for my brother and his cohort. I found out something about kids of the digital age. They’re so used to being photographed that it’s really hard to get them all to look at a camera at once. Remember when we were little and the family photos were taken once, and if you were pulling your best derp face, you sure as heck didn’t pull it again the next time you got your photo taken? Well, those days are gone. I am not the best portrait photographer in the world. The idea of taking photos of people makes me nervous. I tend towards the artistic photography side of things. Always. This is something I cannot seem to shake. I got some good shots of everyone, but the photos that I like the best cannot be described as standard portrait shots. My favourites are the ones where the camera is forgotten and everyone’s just doing their own thing, or they’re all sitting there watching trains go past. Anyway, we survived the photoshoot without a flash. Photoshop is marvellous.

Here are some photos, because I have nothing else to say.

Look at them, being all serious and stuff.

Look at them, being all serious and stuff.

See them all staring off into the distance?

See them all staring off into the distance?

Anyway, stay safe!

xoxo

To Canon or not to Canon…

Well, hello everyone! This week I played Star Munchkin, and the universe told me I should look at buying a Canon DSLR.

So, this weekend I’m going to go and take photos of my brother’s family. Hooray! This is in lieu of Christmas presents which I think means it is technically a paid job. Boyfriend gave me a Sony DSLR some months ago. It was a hand-me-down from his dad. The thing about Sony cameras is that they’re not compatible with ANYTHING else! Except Minolta. Seriously, the accessories for Sony are ridiculously hard to come by in Australia without spending all of the money. All of it, I tell you! So I decided to bite the bullet and buy a flash unit from America. A few days later my flash arrived. I was impressed by the speed of delivery. Seriously. I’ve had things posted from Sydney take longer than it took for this flash to arrive from another country. Anyhoo, the next dilemma was that you can’t get diffuser caps for this model in Australia, so I made some. No, really, I am very proud of my handiwork. I’m like MacGyver, only more lady-like. Then I attached it all to my camera and took some test shots. The flash lasted Ten. Shots. Only.  To say I was disappointed would be a bit of an understatement. How dodgy is that? And then it occurred to me that the universe is trying to tell me something. If you listen really hard, you can hear the universe whispering to me.

“Concealed within his fortress, the lord of Mordor sees all. His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh. You know of what I speak, Gandalf: a great Eye, lidless, wreathed in flame.” – Saruman

In other news, I got to hang out with some friends of mine who I haven’t had time to just hang out with in months. We played Star Munchkin. If you’ve never played Munchkin before, you should. It’s tremendous fun. It’s even funnier with alcohol. How can you resist a game that comes in a box with a picture of a munchkin in a space suit with “born 2 frag” written on one arm?

Is that a Bananafanafophaser in my pocket, or am I just pleased to see you?

I’ve also started painting on glass. I’m just experimenting at the moment. It’s a little odd, because I’m painting backwards. The idea is that I paint onto the glass and then it’s viewed from the other side, so I paint the top layer first and then add the background. I’m thinking about wiring frames with LEDs so they can be lit from behind. I’m sticking with the analogue version for the time being though. It was one of those ideas that you have in the middle of the night and then you can’t sleep because it’s such a fantastic idea and you can’t wait to get started, and then you finally get to sleep and when you wake up in the morning you don’t even remember the idea until after morning tea. So guess who is going to buy all the cheap frames from all of the shops this week! I am, that’s who.

Anyway, stay safe this week.

xoxo